When
we try to please everyone, we often end up pleasing no one, including
ourselves. This is something an anonymous Reddit member learned the hard way.
Taking
to the
AITA subreddit, this person started his story by explaining that he has
been a very successful individual compared to the rest of the members of his
family. He frequently traveled abroad for work, but whenever he was in his
hometown he made sure he treated his family members to dinner.
This
time, it wasn’t any different. The moment his mom learned he was coming home,
she informed him of the family gathering she organized. She texted him the
location of a high-end steakhouse and told him the family would be waiting for
him there.
However,
when he entered the place he was shocked to see over 20 people gathered there.
Until then, the family gatherings consisted of around six people whom he was
close to. This time, his mom even invited one of OP’s grandma’s neighbors, a
person OP only met a few times during his life. He never even spoke to this
person, only waved hi.
At
that point, those who were present at the upscale restaurant had already
ordered pricey steaks, which cost from $80 to $250 per person. As the waiters
were bringing more drinks and more appetizers, the grandma’s neighbor raised a
toast in which he highlighted OP’s generosity in covering the expenses. This
set the stage for an unforeseen chain of events.
Medium
overhead shot of families sharing dinner at table at outdoor restaurant during
vacation
OP
wasn’t happy he was expected to cover the bill for that many people without
even be consulted about it in advance. According to his calculations, the bill
was around $4,000 until that point, and counting.
Realizing
his family was trying to take advantage of him, OP decided to leave the place.
He
left $100 on the table and said, “I’m not paying for dinner,” as he stormed
off.
His
phone wouldn’t stop ringing. He received numerous messages, mainly from his
mother, but he decided to turn the phone off and retire for the night. The
following day he left the country without saying goodbye.
Despite
recognizing his less-than-ideal handling of the situation, OP felt devastated
that his family wanted to take advantage of him and his generosity in such a
sneaky way.
“I
know I’m nta with the dinner but more concerned about my reaction [sic],” he
wrote.
Guys
chatting in restaurant
Following
his mother’s persistent pleas to call her, he decided to talk to her and
apologize for storming out of the restaurant in such a manner, offering an
olive branch. Sadly, he was met with accusations of being selfish, greedy, and
disrespectful.
This
came as a shock to OP who showed extensive kindness to his family over the
years. Among the rest, he provided his mom with two cars, a bathroom remodel, a
roof replacement, new appliances, and on top of that, he paid in full for
numerous family vacations.
The
accusations angered OP to the extent that he decided to put an end to any
assistance for those who failed to appreciate it by taking drastic measures.
Shortly
after, OP initiated a cascade of cancellations: six AT&T lines, internet
services, streaming accounts with changed passwords or outright cancellations,
removal from AAA coverage for the cars, termination of car insurance coverage
for their mom, and the cancellation of the credit card they had provided.
This
decision marked the beginning of the end of funding things for people who never
showed any gratitude.
Most
of the family members wanted to get involved into the feud, and OP was even
uninvited from a cousin’s wedding with the explanation that they wanted to
avoid any drama, yet the expectation for a gift remained.
OP
believed that he shouldn’t talk to his mother until some time passes by. In the
meantime, the discussion about the upcoming family vacation, a once lively
topic, now lay dormant.
OP’s
mother kept sending her son messages, each more hostile than the other.
One
of his nieces, who wasn’t present but heard from a third-party, informed OP
that on the day he left the restaurant, the family tried to cancel the rest of
the dinner, but with appetizers and drinks already served, they reluctantly
split a $700 bill.
That
same niece also told OP that the entire family branded him a greedy monster.
As
expected, the Redditors unanimously deemed OP “NTA.”
“Everyone
else at that table “knew” you were going to be paying for dinner but you. How
odd. The position your mom and family put you in was quite disrespectful. And I
do not know how you could have reacted better,” one person wrote.
“Your
mom was way out of line for all of this. Starting with assuming you’re going to
pay, choosing that expensive place, and inviting so many people. She owes you a
major apology,” another added.
“Your
family invited your neighbors!? Do you even know these people? Wait, it doesn’t
even matter. And everybody had drinks and appetizers and steak…Paying for your
part and leaving was entirely appropriate. They took advantage of the golden
goose and the golden goose left and cut mama off,” a third commented.
Do
you believe OP did the right thing when he decided to stand for himself?
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Love
and Peace
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