After her husband's father died, one
woman refused to take her husband's little sister in because she and her
husband had agreed that they did not want to have children together.
A
Reddit post that was twice restricted contained information about a man feeling
conflicted about his little sister's care. The original poster (OP) planned to
do anything he could for her, but his wife did not think the same way.
The
OP and his wife had been married for two years when the OP's father passed
away, leaving his sister with nobody to care for her. The OP's sister is much
younger than he is, making him more like a father figure than an older brother.
A
man holding a crying young girl | Source: Shutterstock
The
OP's little sister was eleven when their father passed away. The OP and his
wife had not welcomed any children then and had no plans to have any children
in the future. The couple not wanting children is where the problem came in.
The
OP and his family suffered a significant loss, and as they mourned the loss,
they had some difficult decisions to make. However, these decisions caused
unexpected tensions. The OP shared:
"My father passed away from
pancreatic cancer. There are 2 options for my sister: either I take her in or
my uncle [dad's brother]. So we asked her who she wanted, and she chose me.
Here is the problem: My wife and I decided that we did not want kids."
Upset
young girl resting her head on her hand | Source: Shutterstock
Both
men knew it was a significant decision and decided to include the little girl,
allowing her to choose where she would prefer to live. The little girl decided
to stay with the OP.
However,
the problem began when the OP's wife clarified that she did not want children
and that taking his sister in would mean that they had a child. The wife argued
that since the little girl's uncle could adopt her, she and her husband
shouldn't have to.
Husband
and wife arguing | Source: Shutterstock
The
OP said that since his sister was left with no parents after their father had died, he wanted to
ensure she recovered healthily, and since she had expressed a desire to be with
the OP, he was not going to force her to stay with their uncle.
The
decision caused much tension between the girl's brother and his wife. However,
after a while, the OP told his wife that he would let his sister stay with them
whether she liked it or not. He also told her they would divorce if she could
not accept it. After that, they did not talk for a while.
Man
and woman back to back on a couch not talking | Source: Shutterstock
The
OP then updated the post, saying he and his wife had talked it over again and
decided to go their separate ways. He added, "She said you really are choosing your sister
over me."
The
OP told his wife that he didn't want to have the conversation again and that
whatever she understood of the situation was okay. He also explained that his
sister was his priority at that time.
A
father and daughter hugging | Source: Shutterstock
That
was the last conversation the OP and his wife had. He also said: "I have
been living with my sister for 1 week now. Being a single father-ish brother is
definitely challenging, but I am really enjoying it."
Many
people had strong opinions about the OP's post, with many agreeing that he had
done the right thing for his sister and that his wife was selfish for not
opening her home to a young girl in need.
One
person added a valuable piece of advice, saying that if the OP had children or
anyone reading had children, they should have a will saying who would take
guardianship of their children when they died.
Father
and daughter in the kitchen | Source: Shutterstock
Another
person shared their experience, saying after their parents had died, their
half-sister took them in, and it was apparent they weren't wanted there. The
person then ran away when they were 15, and neither their half-sister nor her
husband reported it.
This
commenter said it had worked out best that the OP and his wife split because
his sister would pick up on it if she weren't welcome. Another person who did
not have children said it would have been a dealbreaker even for them.
Some
people came to the OP's wife's defense, saying she knew her limits and could
not care for a child dealing with such immense trauma. Another said the OP's
wife did not want to be a mother, and raising his sister would essentially
place her in the position to be one.
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Another
person said they would ordinarily side with the wife, but because she had been
immature in saying the OP was picking his sister over her, they didn't feel it
was fair on the OP and his sister.
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