I write these words with a trembling hand and a heart that feels unbearably heavy. The pain inside me has become too great to carry in silence, and so I pour it out onto this page, hoping you will feel the depth of my sorrow and the weight of my longing. Life has taken a turn I never expected, and I find myself surrounded not only by chaos and destruction, but by an aching loneliness that cuts deeper than any wound. As the fires rage across my city here in California, threatening lives and homes, I sit in the middle of it all, wondering if you even know what I’m going through—wondering, even more painfully, if you still care. My world feels like it’s crumbling, not just from the flames around me, but from the emptiness left behind by your silence.
In the past, your love was the light that guided me through the darkest nights. I could always count on you—your gentle words, your concern, your presence, even from afar. But now, as the smoke thickens and fear grips every corner of my soul, I find myself checking my phone, hoping for a message from you, anything to remind me that I still matter to you. I’ve waited and waited, each moment stretching endlessly, hoping to hear your voice or see a few kind words that might soothe my heart. But nothing comes. Not a call, not a message. And that silence has grown louder than the fire trucks blaring down my street or the news reports flashing across my screen. It’s in that silence that doubt begins to bloom, threatening to choke out everything I thought I knew about us.
It’s difficult to admit, but I’ve had thoughts that frighten me. Thoughts that perhaps it would’ve been easier if I hadn’t made it through the worst of this. If fate hadn’t stepped in, if a higher power hadn’t pulled me out of danger. Because what is survival when you feel forgotten by the one you love most? What is the point of being safe when your heart is in more danger than your body ever was? I never imagined I would feel this way—so fragile, so discarded, so invisible. I try to remind myself of all the moments we’ve shared, the promises we made, and the dreams we built together. But even those memories begin to blur when the present feels so painfully uncertain.
Still, even with my heart in pieces, I find myself yearning for you. Not just for your presence, but for the love that once made me feel whole. I long to be wrapped in your words, in your care, in the feeling that I am someone you cherish. I don’t need grand gestures—I just need to know that I still live in your heart, that you think of me, that you worry for me the way I do for you. I need a sign, my love. A message of comfort, a whisper of reassurance, a soft reminder that we are still us. That no matter how far apart we are, your heart still beats in rhythm with mine. It would mean everything to me right now—more than you may ever know.
Please, my love, if there is even a small part of your heart that still belongs to me, let it speak. Let it reach out to me in this time of darkness and uncertainty. Let me feel the warmth of your affection, even if just through words. I want to believe that we can still face anything together, that this storm won’t tear us apart but will instead show us just how strong our bond truly is. Let me know that I’m not alone in this world, that the person I love most still sees me, still feels for me, and still believes in us. I’m reaching out with all that I am—please meet me halfway.
With a heart full of sorrow, and hope that still flickers,
Forever yours
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